All the Tea in China

A Dutchman seeks his fortune in hilarious, ironical, maritime, historical romp that's Master and Commander by way of Monty Python. Inspired by a shotgun blast in the seat of his breeches, young Karli Van Cleef quits his native Holland to seek his fortune. He arrives in early Victorian London and soon he is turning a pretty profit. But Karli sees that true opportunity flowers in India's fields of opium poppies and the treaty ports of the China coast. So, he takes a berth in an opium clipper hell-bent for the Indies. It is a journey beset with perils. Karli is confronted by the mountainous seas, high-piled plates of curry, and the ferocious penalties of the Articles of War. He survives the malice of the Boers, the hospitality of anthropophagi, and the horrors of Lancashire cooking. En route he acquires some interesting diseases, dangerous friends and enemies, a fortune, and a wife almost as good as new. Praise for All the Tea in China "Bonfiglioli . . . offers a surfeit of delights in this historical romp, first published in 1978. . . . Bonfiglioli colors his picaresque with an abundance of wit and narrative verve. Indeed, the novel often reads like an unapologetically bawdy  Pirates of the Caribbean." — Publishers Weekly "This swashbuckling, mildly ribald adventure will appeal to teens who like historical fiction with a strong plot. With pirates continuing to be popular and the unlikelihood that libraries still own this—or ever did—for teens, young adult collection developers should take note." — School Library Journal